By Leonard Pigg
In the beginning, she used to look at me while holding hands with him. Friendly from afar, but she would never approach me even alone. Perhaps I was the panther in the cage she was fascinated with. Something exotic. Periodically walking by my domain, giving me a brief glance to acknowledge my presence, then moving on. I would try not to laugh out loud when it would happen, just simply smile. She used to look at me strangely sometimes, trying to figure out what I’m thinking or maybe what I am? Does she see something in me the rest of the world doesn’t or am I simply a dark reflection which she can’t help but stare at? She doesn’t belong in my world. This is not a place for tourists.
In my world, even I am sometimes seen as a foreigner. Now I don’t exist. I went from being a spectacle to a phantom in one fell swoop. There is power in anonymity. I am a man of consequence, with places to be and things to do. I see the story played out over and over, still finding the humor in the most twisted of human behavior. Then I find myself wondering am I twisted for laughing or is it simply the situation that has become warped? I think I’m alone sometimes, but I’m not. There are people everywhere and we’re all connected. The morphic fields of the planet bind us all together. We still find ourselves alone in this existence.
Friends join me in various adventures until the novelty wears off or there is a casualty. Either way, I must continue forward. The undertow of mediocrity lurks over the horizon. I spend my days and nights avoiding it at all costs. Ironically there is a sameness to the chase, a familiarity that still manages to breed contempt in even the most adventurous of spirits. Something is missing from the equation. Shadows loom, calling out to memories best left forgotten. I don’t need a reminder of people and things that no longer exist. I’m only remembered in times of great need or when someone wants to make amends.
I need the newness of the day. I crave the spontaneous again. I need to be surprised to break the patterns that continue to rear their heads. Family comes and goes. There’s the one we are born into that stretches back into history and marches forward into the future. We also create a family with friends and connections we get over the years. Either one comes with its benefits and complications. That’s become the state of the world, a place filled with complications. We choose to complicate things in lieu of embracing simplicity. We choose the hellishness of drama and bedlam when there is always a better way. A simple line forward instead of twists and turns. Remember that when things are at their darkest, pray or will it into existence. For the sake of sanity, keep it simple.