21 Things About Dungeons and Dragons. Wine-Soaked Edition.

1.) Dungeons and Dragons was first published in 1974 by Tactical Studies Rules, Inc (TSR). Dungeons and Dragons is as old or older than your mom.

2.) As a TV series, Dungeons and Dragons was an animated series that ran on CBS from 1983-1985. It was not nearly as solid of a series as Kidd Video, which ran on NBC initially. Watching both back to back on a Saturday morning with ice cream was a dream come true for countless Americans. (Bonus points if you add cold pizza to ice cream and sit on faded avocado green carpeting while watching this with your Barbie and the Rockers play-set.)

3.) If you roll a one (a critical miss), no matter how high your skill is in whatever it is you're rolling for, you're basically f*cked.

4.) If you roll a one, just to be obvious about it, you're rolling a polyhedral die. These are awesome. They look like rock candy.

5.) On the flip-side, if you roll a 20 (a nat-20 in game-speak), you are not f*cked. You are golden. You win all the things. As long as it's a savings throw.

6.) Character voices make everything better.

7.) Goblins are called “gerblins.”

8.) “Gerblins” are the first enemy you will approach and they will annoy the sh*t out of you.

9.) Don't ever trust the sexy lady at the bar because she will try to kill you.

10.) When given the choice, try to avoid burning down entire villages because hobbits live there. And they remember.

11.) Also, sometimes you have to destroy entire villages in order to save the damn world.

12.) Contrary to the name, you are not always in dungeons and you're not always fighting dungeons.

13.) There's a Dungeons and Dragons movie that was made in 2000. It's not great. D&D players don't really claim it. But, yet, there it is.

14.) Do not split up the effing party. That is how people die.

15.) When creating your character, and you're rolling your own, and you're a wizard, don't roll a one. You're going to have a bad time.

16.) You only need three things to play Dungeons and Dragons: dice, Doritos, and Friends. The manual? It depends. You can get a board but a good Dungeon Master (DM) will make one for you.

17.) Dungeons and Dragons (D&D) has been accused, in the past, of contributing to satanism, witchcraft, teen suicide, and the downfall of civilization. These things are unconfirmed.

18.) You have to stay true to the fiction. Meaning: if you would react a certain way, that's not how your character would react. You have to react how your character would. For example: if I had to rush into a bank before my comrades, I would not look at the diamonds, I would just rush in to save my people. One's character, however, might be like “screw the people. I hate people. I like diamonds. I save no one.” Follow the character traits, not your own freaking karmic path.

19.) You can't just do sh*t. You've gotta roll it. (On the polyhedral dice and all.)

20.) Respect your DM (Dungeon Master. ) Please, God.

21.) Sometimes we break the rules and all. Geez, I don't know. It's good to break the damn rules. Not just in D&D, but also in freaking life.

Get: Player's Handbook, 5th Edition Starter Set, 42-piece polyhedral dice set, Ivory/Black Polyhedral Dice Set (Nicely Weighted!). Amos is an Amazon Affiliate. This in no way affects our editorial choices or content.

 

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