In the Air is Human But Where You Fly is Divine. Or Not. (The Worst and Best Airports in the US)

The Worst:

LaGuardia (Queens, New York): Terrible. Dank. There are no food choices. The people aren’t nice. LaGuardia is the most inhospitable place on the face of the planet as a whole. It smells. Everyone is rude. (2.3 out of 5 stars, Yelp)

Detroit (Michigan): Absolutely terrible. No matter where you get off a flight, you have to go to a different terminal to catch a connection. Horrible layout, no ambiance, and no edible food. None. Plus, trying to find a shuttle is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. (3.7 our of 5 stars, Yelp)

Kansas City (Missouri): It’s just awful— just nothing there. Absolutely nothing at this airport. You’ve got to walk for miles to find a bathroom. It isn’t clean. It’s a junior version of LaGuardia. (2.6 out of 5 stars, Yelp)

Los Angeles International/LAX (California): I hate LAX. This has to be the most inconvenient airport ever (always have to go back through security). And it’s the most expensive airport next to LaGuardia. A ten dollar teaspoon of chili is a damn bargain at LAX. (2.4 out of 5 stars, Yelp)

San Antonio (Texas): Terrible. There are always delays. There may be one (only one) restaurant in the entire freaking place. You can’t fly directly to this airport from any other, as far as I can tell. I have never, ever had a good experience at San Antonio International Airport. I love the city, hate the airport. (3.4 out of 5 stars, Yelp)

O’Hare (Chicago, Illinois): Enough said. (3 out of 5 stars, Yelp. Yelp is wrong. That should be zero. Zero stars for O’Hare.)

Atlanta (Gerogia): Atlanta and O’Hare are the two worst airports in the country, honestly. Nothing good has ever happened in either place: neither has good food and  both are the definitive exemplars of inconvenience and nonsense. You can, at these places, get your 10,000 steps in: you’ll be running and unhappy but you will get your steps. (3.4 out of 5 stars, Yelp.)

 

The Best:

McCarran (Las Vegas, Nevada): Everything is great here. Your bags arrive quickly. I’ve never been frustrated here: there are slot machines and smoking, if you care about that kind of thing. There is a total variety of food choices and there is easy transportation out and in. You never have to wait for anything. (3.3 stars out of 5, Yelp)

Denver (Colorado): Good food at a good value at this airport. I walked into a restaurant with a dusty old bottle of Pappy van Winkle. They didn’t know what they had. I drank Pappy van Winkle for three months for, basically, like, nothing. Also: there’s a Barbeque burrito at this airport, too, somewhere, that’s totally great eats. (3.5 out of 5 stars, Yelp)

Indianapolis International (Indiana): Bags come quickly and there are lots of food choices. It’s clean with solid wi-fi. There are multiple stations available to fill up your empty watere bottle. Easy in and easy out, parking-wise. (4.2 out of 5 stars, Yelp)

Phoenix Sky Harbor  (Arizona): Free wi-fi. Lots of food choices. I’ve never, ever been delayed there. (3.2 stars of 5 on Yelp)

Honolulu (Hawaii): Everything is great about Honolulu. There’s tons of food. It’s in Hawaii. It smells great. Everyone is terribly friendly. Bags come quickly. Part of it’s outdoors with fountains and palm trees. (3 of 5 stars on Yelp)

Minneapolis (Minnesota): I like Minneapolis Airport. Best food choices of any airport I’ve ever been to. You can get to anywhere from there. Really friendly. Never had a terrible gate walk between flights. (3.8 out of 5 stars, Yelp)

Honorable Mention:

Love Field (Dallas, Texas): This one has possibly the best food for any airport solely because of Dickey’s Barbecue Pit. (4.1 out of 5 stars, Yelp)

Not-So-Bad Mention: 

San Francisco International (California): I don’t mind SFO except this airport always has weather delays. On the plus side, SFO always has sourdough bread bowls filled with French onion soup, so SFO is alright. (3.8 out of 5 stars, Yelp)

Dishonorable Mention:

Dallas-Fort Worth (Texas): I hate DFW but I did find a surprisingly good Irish pub there called Tigin’s (get the Shepherd’s Pie and a side salad with bleu cheese. Tell them I sent you). So that helps. (3.3 out of 5 stars on Yelp. For DFW, not Tigin’s which probably got a hundred.)

 

 

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