Southernisms

Each year when we journey to the Southern U.S. on vacation, it amuses us to hear phrases and colloquialisms that aren’t part of our vernacular here in the Midwest. I am sure this works both ways. For example, Midwesterners refer to soda as pop, which will earn you a strange look in some southern and western locales. Ask for cheese with your breadsticks and the fine people of Pennsylvania will look at you like you are from Mars or have just sprouted alien antennae. Here, for your enjoyment, are a few little anecdotes my sons and I call Southernisms that we have heard and retold over the years. Best read in a southern accent for full enjoyment…

Overheard in a Myrtle Beach, South Carolina Target: “Y’all know he’s one chicken nugget short of a Happy Meal.”

In a gas station bathroom, on a Saturday afternoon somewhere in West Virginia: “Come on Amber, it’s gettin’ close to Monday.”

At a video rental store in Sarasota, Florida, this was the reply when my son asked if he could bring his beverage into the store: “Sure, people bring their pigs in here.”

In a Chinese restaurant in Memphis, Tennessee, a woman on her cell phone: “You know the wedding is on Friday and the funeral’s on Monday.” (Which she said to whomever she was talking to several times during the conversation. Not sure to this day if these were separate events or related or if she thought there would be a death at the wedding which would necessitate Monday’s funeral. It just struck me as funny to hear both events grouped together in the same sentence.)

At a swimming pool in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, a three year old boy went up to a random woman and said: “Hey there, sexy mama.” He proceeded to do this to just about every woman who came by the pool while we were there. Hugely entertaining and amusing, especially the bystander’s reactions.

At a Target in Valdosta, Georgia, we asked for directions to the local Steak and Shake. I am pretty sure I don’t sound southern or like I am from anywhere near Valdosta. But this was what I was told: “You take a left, then you take another left, y’all can’t miss it.” Which we did miss it as she did not give us any street names and basically left us driving around in circles until we finally located it. There is a silver lining however. We did see signs posted around Valdosta saying “Please Don’t Litter Make Valdosta Glitter,” which were entertainment in and of themselves and spawned amusing conversations regarding who exactly was running this town…

Of course, my family and I are easily amused. I hope you are too and the above make you chuckle or at least smile. Or something.

 

 

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